Josepho Lament | Master of Slipperines
Often referred to as “The Mad Uncle” of the Lament line, it is said the family would be but a historical footnote were it not for Josepho. A relentless force in the fiercely competitive world of Natural History, he rose to infamy by sheer charm, cunning, and what fabulist Mark Twain once described as “a stiff cocktail of moxie, magick, and benign malignance.” Many a would-be collector was left in ruin for daring to pursue the same stuffed sloth as Josepho.
Interests: Forbidden rituals, Grimoire poaching, Arcane practices, Gluten-Forward Breadmaking,
Jarius Lament | Savant of Somesuch, This & That
Nephew to Josepho, Jarius was as brilliant as he was bothersome. He rarely slept, spoke in riddles, consumed entirely too many Scotch Eggs, all while wearing a cloak that trailed chaulk runes wherever he walked. Jairus believed every object held memory—and he would extract them, ideally gently but violently if necessary. His contributions to the Lament Archives through the years are invaluable, though many pages are inexplicably damp. Jairus once attempted to summon a muse and instead birthed a line of haunted scarves.
Interests: Expensive fragrances, Fabric alchemy, whispering too quietly to be heard, goat telepathy.
Levinius Lament | Dreamscape Prospector & Liminal Portalkeeper
Daughter to Josepho and cousin to Jairus, Levinius was the first woman officially recorded in the Lament annals, though some suspect the earlier texts were burned (not coincidentally, by Levinius.) A force of nature, she reconstructed the family’s fractured lineage using dream-mapping and blood-indexed folklore. Known for her ability to speak in reverse while sleeping and, perhaps more impressively, in the opposite direction when awake, Levinius would go on to found the DreamIndex—the only known system for cataloguing nightmares by scent and color.
Interests: Spectral embroidery, improvisational merry-making, deviant chronomancy, rare and possibly poisonous teas.
Further Laments Await
Presently enshrouded Laments will be unveiled once vexing litigation quiets, disputes—legal or otherwise—are resolved, and unholy hexes unbind.