• Check for Moles Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Check for Moles Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Check for Moles Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Check for Moles Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
1 4

Check for Moles Car Seat Cover

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

There are those who dig quietly, and those who don’t.

Check for Moles is a celebration of the unseen and the underfoot. A field plate-turned-fashion-statement, these transform vintage zoological illustrations into something deeply strange, uncomfortably cute, and unmistakably alive.

Each panel features a parade of plump, peculiar moles, rendered in a range of fur tones—inky black, deep chestnut, sun-bleached beige. They float, they shuffle, they stand stiff with mole-like dignity. A few display their skeletal insides, like anatomical models from a lecture hall that’s been closed for a century. Every surface becomes a cabinet of curiosity, a scientific display of the world’s most introverted diggers.

The cream-colored background mimics old parchment, while black soles and trim give it a crisp modern frame—like pinning down a dream with thumbtacks.

Free size replacement!

• True to Size
• Fit wider feet
• Removable insole
• Top quality materials
• Canvas fabric with rubber outsole
• Amazing colors & print quality
• Custom made Just For YOU!

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

The Hollow Sense
Grants intuitive awareness of what lies beneath—whether hidden motives, soft ground, or unspoken invitations. You’ll know where not to step, and when to dig.

Burrower's Grace
Bestows silent passage and uncanny timing. You can disappear from a room without moving, or show up somewhere no one expected. Subtlety becomes your native language.

Fur and Bone Equilibrium
You carry the gift of strange duality. Gentle yet armored, humorous yet unnerving, cute yet cursed. You attract others who dwell in the margins—librarians, cryptids, introverts, and spies.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

The Laments once kept a sacred burrow map known only as The Hollow Thread. These moles—each lovingly illustrated by disgraced professor E. B. Tumblestaff—were believed to be guardians of secret tunnel routes beneath Lament sanctuaries. It’s said that only by “checking for moles” could one avoid being unceremoniously swallowed by the soft earth. These shoes are considered good luck for traversing unknown passages—physical, metaphysical, or social.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • Illustrated moles across every angle: As charming as they are suspicious
  • Aged parchment backdrop: Feels like it was stolen from an abandoned field guide
  • Bones and fur side by side: For those who like their cute with a little anatomical truth
  • Top-down mole march: Perfect symmetry of underground chaos
  • Ideal for wearers with secret identities, tunnel dreams, and a fondness for soft things with claws

Adored By (and Designed For)

  • Vintage science nerds with a flair for the absurd
  • Lovers of overlooked creatures and charming vermin
  • Cryptid collectors and subterranean sympathizers
  • Anyone who suspects their enemies live just below the surface

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Whimsical paranoia
  • Scientific mischief
  • Unsettling charm
  • Cozy menace
  • Subterranean wit

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

This is one of the most playfully macabre designs in the Lament archive. It’s cozy and creepy at the same time—like something you’d wear to a tea party hosted by taxonomists who’ve never seen the sun. With hypnotic repetition and anatomical flair, these shoes live at the crossroads of scientific absurdity and verminous dignity. A love letter to the unnoticed.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

Five songs that shuffle beneath the surface, hum with quiet suspicion, and leave dirt beneath your nails.

"Underground" – Tom Waits
Gruff, rhythmic, and strange as an old boot in a mine shaft. A fitting anthem for molekind.

"Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" – Radiohead
Hypnotic descent into layers. If a mole had an existential crisis, it would sound like this.

"My Body Is a Cage" – Peter Gabriel (Arcade Fire cover)
Gothic introspection wrapped in anatomical reverence. Bones, tunnels, and buried truths.

"The Moles Are Coming" – The Residents
An unhinged sonic burrow. Disorienting, paranoid, and gleefully bizarre.

"Hidden Place" – Björk
A soft, secret anthem for introverts with enchanted tunnel maps in their coat pockets.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.