• Horse of the Gods Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Horse of the Gods Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Horse of the Gods Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Horse of the Gods Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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Horse of the Gods Car Seat Cover

Automedon, the legendary charioteer of Achilles

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
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There are tales that bards sing and then there are those that archivists only whisper—shadows passed from breath to breath behind locked doors. Horse of the Gods rides straight from one of those whispers.

Etched by Edmond Georges Grandjean in 1881 and resurrected by Jaded Lament from a scorched plate sealed in a forgotten Mycenaean archive, this design captures Automedon, the legendary charioteer of Achilles, astride his master’s immortal steeds. These were no ordinary horses—they were children of the wind, said to speak in sorrow and weep for men who deserved gods.

Their flanks ripple like stormclouds. Their stance defies death itself. And at the center, bare and unflinching, is Automedon—charioteer, mourner, war-waker. This is not a portrait of battle. This is what rides in before the trumpet sounds.

Rendered in charred reds and ghosted greys, the image vibrates like a war-drum caught midbeat. The visual pulse is equal parts divine fury and human grief.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

• Stride of Storm-Blooded Steeds – Grants endurance that echoes the thunder of divine hooves.

• Memory of Patroclus – You carry grief without breaking stride. You run for those who no longer can.

• Burn of Immortal Purpose – Transforms heartbreak into momentum; every step a sacred defiance.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

According to the Laments, this design was once part of a ceremonial uniform worn during rites of remembrance—when the Archivists walked barefoot through sand and ash, offering silence to the horses that outlived their riders.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

• Features restored engraving of Automedon with the war-horses of Achilles, drawn from Wonders: Images of the Ancient World

• Conveys classical epic in one searing, muscular motion—flesh, wind, and legacy

• A high-octane myth worn with reverence and rebellion

• Brings together 19th-century artistry and Homeric lore for a wearable act of remembrance

• For those who understand that even the gods remember the names of the mourners

Adored By (and Designed For)

• Readers of The Iliad, The Aeneid, and Song of Achilles

• Historians who prefer their lessons soaked in wine, sweat, and glory

• Artists who sculpt sorrow into motion

• Runners, riders, and ragers against the dying of light

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

• Thunderborn grief

• Divine momentum

• Epic fatalism

• Tragic defiance

• Myth set in motion

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

This shoe is not for the battlefield—it’s for the silence before it. The breath drawn by a horse who remembers war. It’s a hymn for motion, a benediction of strength, and a love letter to those who were never meant to survive but did anyway. Grief is the engine. Glory is the aftermath.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) “Arsonist’s Lullabye” – Hozier
A brooding storm of fire, fate, and dark desire—Automedon would approve.

(2) “Achilles Come Down” – Gang of Youths
The heartbreak of myth, raw and modern—an anthem for gods who crack.

(3) “Divine Horsemen” – Chelsea Wolfe & Emma Ruth Rundle
Feral, urgent, spectral—like a chariot race through underworld fog.

(4) “Run To Ruin” – Shannon Wright
An intimate, breathless track that feels like war in slow motion.

(5) “Lux Aeterna” – Clint Mansell (Requiem for a Dream soundtrack)
Crescendo after crescendo—classical tragedy weaponized in sound.

This mix gallops. Mythical, heavy, full of thunder and memory, it’s music to ride into ruin by.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.