• Kraken Unleashed Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Kraken Unleashed Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Kraken Unleashed Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Kraken Unleashed Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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Kraken Unleashed Car Seat Cover

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
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Some stories are not spoken. They are scratched into the bark of trees, burned into altar stones, or buried beneath layers of paper and time. Lament of the Carved draws from the 1882 edition of Household Stories from the Collection of the Bros. Grimm, illustrated by Walter Crane and translated by Lucy Crane—an edition long whispered to have been banned in several private libraries for being “too vivid, too sacred, too true.”

This design resurrects those woodcut-style illustrations, not to sanitize them, but to amplify their eerie majesty. Rendered in scorched orange and bone-black, the panels on these high-tops depict a nightmare masquerading as bedtime: women in lament, men in pursuit, and a forest alive with judgment. There is no princess here—only a girl turned symbol, a soul carved into lore.

It’s Snow White, yes—but it’s also the mother she lost, the stepmother she feared, and the thousand unnamed girls before and after her. This isn’t rescue—it’s record.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

Whispers from the Benthic Throne
The ability to intuit unseen currents—emotional, social, or supernatural. You’ll know what’s shifting before it rises.

Grip of the Unrelenting Coil
Your resolve becomes mythic. Obstacles tighten around you, only to find you’re already slipping through their grasp.

Memory of the Ink-Dark Sea
Grants insight through dreams and symbols. Your mind becomes a tidepool of forgotten knowledge, washing ashore when needed.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

The Laments say this design was inspired by the once-missing ninth page of The Atlas Maritimis, a hand-drawn volume of impossible beasts. The Kraken, it turns out, wasn’t on the page. It was the one who disappeared.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • One beast, many gestures: Tentacles stretch across all panels, forming a narrative of movement
  • Sepia escape: Drawn like a diagram, worn like a rebellion
  • Every tentacle flows: There are no breaks. Only direction.
  • Worn by Laments in acts of departure, trickery, and transformation

Adored By (and Designed For)

  • Marine dreamers, myth chasers, and lovers of escape artistry
  • Fans of motion-forward design, naturalist inkwork, and beastly beauty
  • Anyone who's ever needed to slip the net

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Myth in motion
  • Uncontainable intelligence
  • Vintage anatomical elegance
  • Chaotic grace
  • Heroic slither

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

This is a myth that won't stay still. The ink that won't dry, the beast that became the author.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

Five songs that summon the old tides, the strange gods, and the abyss that thinks.

"There’s No Other Way" – Blur
Off-kilter and aquatic. A track that moves sideways like a clever beast of the deep.

"Sirens" – Bear’s Den
A melodic warning, wrapped in myth and memory. You’ll hear it again, even if you run.

"House of the Rising Sun" – The Animals
A dirge from the drowned places—equal parts haunted tavern and sailor’s lament.

"The Host of Seraphim" – Dead Can Dance
Wordless, vast, and ancient. Like the voice of something sleeping beneath tectonic plates.

"Underwater" – Rüfüs Du Sol
Synth-drenched immersion. Drenched in longing, echo, and depthless surrender.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.