• Let The Cards Fall Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Let The Cards Fall Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Let The Cards Fall Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Let The Cards Fall Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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Let The Cards Fall Car Seat Cover

Alice in Wonderland Carseats

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Three winged gods drift across the sea, suspended in motion, neither landing nor departing. They are the Erotes—ancient spirits of desire, affection, and divine seduction, often depicted in threes. Here, they hover with a curious stillness, facing one another, neither fully human nor fully divine, suspended between sea and sky. Their intimacy feels strange and ritualistic, like a dance without music.

Black-figure silhouettes drawn in crisp linework across a rich seafoam-green backdrop—It's the color of desire rising from the depths.. The visual style evokes Attic vase painting and classical urns, but rendered with graphic minimalism for modern myth-lovers. The amphora motif on the toes draws the whole composition together, suggesting not just history, but ritual—like these gods were preserved in ink, and now wear you. The mirroring of figures and the amphora motif on the toes suggests a looping, eternal scene—a myth fragment stuck on repeat. It’s not narrative; it’s emotional.

The result is restrained yet hypnotic, a wearable fresco of Greco-Roman mythology, desire, and otherworldly elegance. A sacred fragment of forgotten love.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

Gift of the Shuffled Fate: Twist luck itself to your favor, even when the odds were stacked against you.

Voice of the Unraveled Court: Speak with fearless clarity in realms ruled by nonsense and noise.

Rebel’s Grace: Leap through falling chaos with elegance, knowing the heart of every game before the first move is made.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

According to the Laments’ archived court records, these very shoes were once presented as Exhibit 15B during the Trial of the Queen’s Last Afternoon. The defendant, a small girl, was accused of thinking too loudly. Her sentence? Revolution. Her defense? “You’re nothing but a pack of cards.”

She was acquitted.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • Includes original vintage illustration of the climactic scene from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
  • Features a flurry of vintage card suits and figures, preserved with rich texture and linework
  • Tongue print transforms into a cascade of flying cards
  • Bold, imaginative composition with a hand-colored style
  • Perfect for lovers of classic tales, absurdism, and rebellion in a tea dress

Adored By (and Designed For)

  • Alice fans who appreciate her grit as much as her whimsy
  • Readers who thrive in the courtrooms of the surreal
  • Lovers of classic literature with a punk streak
  • Card players who know when to fold—and when to flip the whole table

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Defiant whimsy
  • Surrealist courage
  • Literary rebellion
  • Chaotic good
  • Wonderland on the verge

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

A confrontation in a nonsense kingdom. A child refusing the throne. This design is joyfully mutinous—vintage chaos stitched with confidence. The sepia tones give way to riotous color: deep reds, verdant greens, ink-black outlines. It’s one part fairytale, one part legal farce, and entirely a declaration of self. Perfect for anyone who has ever felt like shouting “Off with their heads!”—but meant it politely.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) "The Louvre" – Lorde
Smoldering, hypnotic, slow-burn pop—a gaze held too long under a mythic sun.

(2) "Movement" – Hozier
Worshipful, elemental, bodies drawn together and torn apart in sacred choreography.

(3) "Love Like Ghosts" – Lord Huron
A dreamy drift through lost devotion, haunting and half-remembered like a seaborne myth.

(4) "Ascent" – Ólafur Arnalds
Ethereal strings and glimmers of light—perfect for gods who never touch the water.

(5) "Sea Song" – Lisa Hannigan
Salt-soaked, yearning, a voice that seems to rise straight out of the seafoam.

This mix captures suspended passion, celestial elegance, drifting myth, and oceanic longing.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.