• Reptilian in Bloom White Yellow Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Reptilian in Bloom White Yellow Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Reptilian in Bloom White Yellow Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Reptilian in Bloom White Yellow Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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Reptilian in Bloom White Yellow Car Seat Cover

Blue on White – Clean, anatomical sharpness. Museum-like, with a sterile thrill.

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
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An ode to the ancient sunbathers, the cold-blooded climbers, the silent stalkers of branch and sand—Reptilian in Bloom captures the uncanny elegance of lizards in both life and death. Each panel intertwines the skeletal and the living, bones wrapped in bloom, spines curved through florals, as if time itself were coiled into a single looping tail.

These high-tops feature detailed scientific illustrations of lizards, depicted in motion and repose, layered with constellations of small starbursts and curling vines. With each step, you walk with creatures halfway between fossil and flame.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

The Art of Silent Persistence: Grants the wearer the ability to move unnoticed through tangled paths, lingering unseen where others would falter.

The Bloomed Bone’s Blessing: Instills a deep-rooted resilience—thriving across both ruin and bloom, shedding failures like old skin.

The Spine's Whisper: Bestows an uncanny intuition—feeling subtle shifts in the air, the earth, and the intentions of those around you.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

The Laments, ever fond of the misunderstood, declared these shoes sacred relics of the Archive of Spines—a place, according to rumor, nestled somewhere deep beneath the library ruins. There, reptiles slink through wild roots and golden pages, basking under lamps that burn with memory.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • Juxtaposition of skeletal remains and living lizards: a study in duality
  • Features old-world illustration textures with preserved detail
  • Embroidered-like contouring gives the impression of stitched shadow
  • Perfect for lovers of taxidermy, terrariums, and thorny gardens
  • A true testament to the survivalist beauty of the reptilian world

Adored By (and Designed For)

  • Collectors of natural history art with a gothic twist
  • Herpetology fans and snake/lizard lovers
  • Anyone who loves a balance of the anatomical and the botanical
  • Enthusiasts of the strange, skeletal, and surreal
  • Garden witches with a penchant for vertebrae

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Intricate
  • Mysterious
  • Earthy and scientific
  • Lightly morbid, delightfully elegant
  • Whispered secrets between bone and vine

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

The design blends stark skeletal silhouettes with soft, curling florals. The balance between anatomy and nature evokes an eerie yet graceful stillness—like a specimen case come to life. The coiling lizard tails, slightly unnatural in their curve, feel imbued with spellwork. It's scholarly, strange, and a little wicked in the best way.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) "Chiron’s Net" – Hatis Noit
A haunting, otherworldly vocal track—feels like ancient bones humming through the roots.

(2) "Deadman's Hand" – This Is The Kit
Earthy, mysterious folk that meanders like a lizard through leaf-littered ruins.

(3) "The Keeper" – The Sam Chase & The Untraditional
A low, rumbling anthem for those who survive by wit and stubborn bloom.

(4) "Fragments" – Tricky
Shadowy and skeletal—minimal beats throb under whispered menace.

(5) "Cicada" – Lael Neale
Bright but strange—like a garden in mid-transformation, alive with unseen watchers.

This mix captures the coiled quiet, ancient survival, botanical hauntings, and the sly resilience of the natural world folding itself over old bones.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.