• Serpent in Bloom Black And White Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Serpent in Bloom Black And White Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Serpent in Bloom Black And White Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • Serpent in Bloom Black And White Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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Serpent in Bloom Black And White Car Seat Cover

Silver Snake on Black – cool, moonlit, sharp as whispered warnings.

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
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A botanical entanglement. A coil of quiet menace. In Serpent in Bloom, the snake isn’t merely slithering—it is basking in the blooming hush of ferns, velvet darks, and mythic stillness. This high-top series coils antique natural history style with sharp-edged modern contrast, making each colorway a different chapter in the same sinuous tale.

Each boot features a regal serpent, poised and patterned in a perfect spiral, nestled among fern fronds and curling twigs. The design flourishes like a fossilized etching that grew vines, or an old naturalist’s field sketch overgrown with the forest itself.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

The Venom of Eloquence: Grants the wearer a tongue as sharp and hypnotic as a serpent’s whisper, able to disarm foes or enchant friends with but a glance.

The Coiled Patience of the Ancient Ones: Endows an eerie composure, allowing you to move through chaos untouched, timing every strike to devastating precision.

The Crown of Silent Guardianship: Wraps you in unseen protection—no enemy will approach unseen, no betrayal go unfelt.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

The Laments consider the serpent sacred—both guardian and deceiver, healer and destroyer. Some said they raised them from eggs found in cathedral catacombs. Others said they were the Laments’ shadows, given shape.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • They admired the coil: a perfect symbol of fate, entropy, and rebirth
  • Their field journals spoke often of snakes that sang (only on moonless nights)
  • These boots matched their black ceremonial cloaks perfectly
  • Every serpent was named; yours may be whispering its name already
  • Worn during Lament Initiations—so one could “walk the spiral and return”

Adored By (and Designed For)

Lovers of snakes, serpent mythology, and natural history illustration

Gothic botanists and dark academia aesthetes

Wearers of quiet power, sharp silhouettes, and slow-burning drama

Those drawn to the coil—whether for protection or provocation

Anyone who’s ever whispered to something with fangs

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

Natural menace

Sacred symmetry

Coiled tension

Timeless knowledge

Gothic folklore

Cold-blooded elegance

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

  • “Antique naturalist sketch meets midnight enchantment”
  • “Gothic ritual in the overgrown greenhouse”
  • “Anatomy textbook turned venomous love letter”
  • “Serpent as spell, not symbol”
  • Rich textures and looping elegance create a wearable myth
  • Cool, contemplative, but with something uncoiling underneath

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) "Witchcraft" – Graveyard Club
Vintage noir synths and dusky vocals—like a forgotten incantation on a scratched record.

(2) "Dead Sea" – The Lumineers
Rolling, fatalistic folk with a slow, inevitable pull, like being carried away by an ancient current.

(3) "Lorelei" – Cocteau Twins
A shimmering, underwater dreamscape sung in a language half-forgotten by human ears.

(4) "Serpentskirt" – Dead Can Dance
Dark, ritualistic beauty; sounds like a slow-motion invocation in an abandoned cathedral.

(5) "Snake Song" – Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan
A slow-burning, sinister duet—perfect for those who carry venom in their pockets and kindness in their fangs.

This mix summons the quiet pulse of enchantment, mythic temptation, the slow tightening of fate, and the sleek grace of those who walk unseen.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.