• The Bear Shall Be Thy Choice Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The Bear Shall Be Thy Choice Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The Bear Shall Be Thy Choice Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The Bear Shall Be Thy Choice Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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The Bear Shall Be Thy Choice Car Seat Cover

Brothers Grimm Carseats

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
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(Note: Also available in White & Pink)

Step softly into the tangled thicket of fable and fate with The Bear Shall Be Thy Choice, a high-top invocation of the uncanny. This design features a haunting black-tinted engraving drawn from a forgotten corner of folklore—where a startled maiden leans back from a bear standing upright, courtly, absurdly present in a domestic parlor. It's unclear if he has come to speak, to warn, or to wed. But the caption has already decided: the bear shall be thy choice.

It’s fairy tale iconography fractured through a surreal lens, a design that feels part Grimm, part fever dream.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

Dreamwoven Judgment – The instinct to choose the impossible, the uncanny, and the true path hidden under absurd disguise.

Fabletouched Courage – The heart to step forward when the choices laid before you make no sense—and still matter deeply.

Tether to the Unwritten – The ability to forge a bond with stories that never made it to the page, living instead in half-remembered dreams.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

In the dusty archives of the Lament Society, this pair is known as “the cursed engagement boots.” The tale goes that every wearer was offered a choice they never expected—and each chose the bear. What happened next? The records stop there. Oddly enough, so did the weddings.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • Original engraving restored with eerie clarity and modernized
  • The number 155—left unexplained, just how the Laments liked it
  • Unsettling, subversive, unforgettable

Adored By (and Designed For)

Lovers of surreal fairy tales, cryptic prophecies, and the strange intimacy of the uncanny. If your bookshelf includes Angela Carter, your dreams include woodland ceremonies, and your wardrobe includes at least one item you can’t explain… welcome.

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Unease wrapped in cream
  • Fairy tale absurdity
  • Dream-logic romance
  • Surreal enchantment
  • The tension between instinct and expectation

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

This design exists in a realm where fairy tales go to mutate—dreamlike, gently sinister, and strangely tender. It’s both a love letter and a riddle. The use of a single moment—the encounter, the offering—evokes an entire lost tale. There’s menace in the sweetness, humor in the horror, and poetry in the absurdity.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)" – Florence + The Machine
A fevered ritual song about sacrifice, transformation, and the wild price of destiny.

(2) "The Curse" – Agnes Obel
Whispering and spectral—a song spun from half-forgotten spells and sorrowed choices.

(3) "The Woods" – Daughter
A slow, shadowed walk through tangled emotion and the unsettling thickets of instinct.

(4) "Saturnine" – Slowdive
Gauzy, melancholic, and drenched in dream logic—perfect for stepping sideways into the surreal.

(5) "Bear" – The Antlers
Haunting and delicate—a lullaby for things both gentle and monstrous, tender and terrible.

This mix captures dreamlike decision-making, fairy-tale disquiet, surreal tenderness, and the mythic tension between safety and wildness.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.