• The Gods Bore Him Away Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The Gods Bore Him Away Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The Gods Bore Him Away Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The Gods Bore Him Away Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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The Gods Bore Him Away Car Seat Cover

Greek Mythology Hightop

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
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In the heat of the Trojan War, Sarpedon—beloved son of Zeus—fell. And unlike other mortals, his body was not left to rot in the dust of battle. No, the gods themselves descended: Thanatos and Hypnos, Death and Sleep, lifting his lifeless form beneath the shadow of Hermes. No rescue. No triumph. Just the solemn grace of divine removal.

This design, adapted from Henri Lévy’s 1881 masterwork, captures that sacred stillness with a haunting color treatment: icy teal veined through coal-black, as if the scene were carved into marble, then soaked in celestial night. The figures float across the canvas with ritual elegance. Sarpedon’s body, long and limp, stretches from panel to panel—a fallen prince in perfect repose.

The absence of warm tones heightens the effect: stormlit serenity, moonlit marble, weightless grief. This is not a shoe about mourning. It’s a shoe about reverence.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

Bearer of Sacred Endings – The ability to honor departures not as defeat, but as acts of profound, mythic grace.

Moonlit Passage – The quiet strength to cross thresholds others dare not approach, wrapped in reverence and resolve.

Elegy Incarnate – A presence that reminds even the gods: nothing vanishes without leaving a shape in the world behind.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

The Laments discovered this image sealed beneath a ceremonial death mask, wrapped in a robe stitched with threads of silver ash. The accompanying scroll simply read: “Not even the gods could keep him from death. But they could make sure he didn’t face it alone.”

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • Features Henri Lévy’s 1881 masterpiece of Sarpedon’s divine transport from Troy
  • Striking teal-and-black monochrome evokes stormlight and funereal marble
  • Design flows like a sacred procession, body and wings in constant motion
  • Perfect for lovers of tragic mythology, classical art, and solemn, wearable epic

Adored By (and Designed For)

  • Fans of Greek mythology, especially the Iliad and tragic side stories of the gods
  • Readers of Homer, Madeline Miller, and poetic retellings of forgotten deaths
  • Lovers of mythic tragedy, sacred art, and the cold beauty of divine indifference
  • Those who find elegance in elegy and purpose in stillness

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Epic solemnity
  • Sacred death
  • Divine intervention without comfort
  • Weightless grief
  • Mythic stillness

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

This is elegy as armor. A design that honors loss without mourning it. It’s the kind of shoe that speaks to those who understand the beauty in being carried away by forces larger than themselves—who recognize that even the mighty must be lifted when they fall.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) "As It Was" – Hozier
A solemn, sweeping reflection on the inevitable passage of time and love beyond the veil.

(2) "My Body Is a Cage" – Arcade Fire
A dirge of spirit trapped in mortal form, aching to be lifted beyond flesh.

(3) "In This Shirt" – The Irrepressibles
Haunting and ethereal, like walking through the ruins of one's own legend.

(4) "Nara" – alt-J
Mystical, elegiac, and swelling with the slow grandeur of fate and fall.

(5) "Motion Picture Soundtrack" – Radiohead
A dreamlike, sorrow-drenched farewell—perfect for crossing into the stormlit marble stillness of myth.

This mix captures mythic sorrow, sacred farewell, solemn beauty, and the eerie, immortal stillness of being carried beyond mortal grief.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.