• The King of Cards Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The King of Cards Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The King of Cards Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The King of Cards Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
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The King of Cards Car Seat Cover

Harry Houdini Vintage Advertisement

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
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Shipping calculated at checkout.

Before the handcuffs, the water tanks, the séances and the locked cabinets, Harry Houdini was the King of Cards.

Drawn from an original vintage performance poster, The King of Cards immortalizes Houdini at his most elegant and elusive. The great magician appears in crisp repetition across the side panels—flanked by flying cards, scarlet ropework, and a knowing gaze because he’s already guessed your hand. His portrait is rendered in the dignified palette of antique playbills: cream, burgundy, parchment gold, and black, all aging with grace, not dust.

Free size replacement!

• True to Size
• Fit wider feet
• Removable insole
• Top quality materials
• Canvas fabric with rubber outsole
• Amazing colors & print quality
• Custom made Just For YOU!

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

The Hand That Deceives Time
Grants the illusion of delay—when worn, the seconds bend around you, giving the impression you are always a step ahead.

Glamour of the Impossible Truth
Bestows the aura of the unbelievable—what you say seems like a trick, until they see it’s real.

The Key Where None Was Hid
Allows passage through metaphorical and literal locks, granting the wearer uncanny luck in escaping traps—emotional, professional, or otherwise.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

Among the Laments, these shoes are rumored to sharpen sleight-of-hand. One claimed the laces tied themselves. Another wore them during a particularly disastrous poker night and came home with more money than when he left—and he didn't play cards. Coincidence? Illusion? Or something Houdini left behind?

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • Repeats Houdini’s iconic King of Cards poster in seamless visual rhythm
  • Perfectly captures the golden age of stage magic and pre-escape artistry
  • Vintage yet striking—ideal for both the spotlight and the shadows
  • The red ornamental ropework and elegant card flourishes feel as if they’re mid-trick
  • Reportedly made a Lament vanish once during a rehearsal. (He came back. Mostly.)

Adored By (and Designed For)

  • Magicians, illusionists, and anyone who’s ever said “Pick a card” with a smirk
  • Lovers of vintage magic posters and vaudeville aesthetic
  • Houdini enthusiasts and stagecraft romantics
  • Fans of bold but refined historical design
  • Those who value charisma over chaos

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Masterful elegance
  • Charismatic control
  • Prestidigitation & panache
  • Vintage theatricality
  • Sleight-of-hand swagger

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

They’re for the charmer in the corner, the hand in motion, the eyes always two steps ahead.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

"Houdini" – Foster the People
(A sly, modern take on escape, image, and illusion.)

"Night on Bald Mountain" – Modest Mussorgsky
(A classical swell of theatrical dread and velvet darkness.)

"My Body Is a Cage" – Arcade Fire
(Restraint and spectacle merge in haunted grandeur.)

"The Curse" – Agnes Obel
(Soft magic and secrets in candlelight, told in piano hush.)

"A Trick of the Tail" – Genesis
(A whimsical narrative full of vanished kings and sleight-of-hand storytelling.)

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.