• The War Above Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The War Above Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The War Above Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
  • The War Above Car Seat Cover - Jaded Lament
1 4

The War Above Car Seat Cover

Carseats

$89.99 USD
$109.99 USD $89.99 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

A celestial reckoning rendered in splintered ink and heaven’s fury—The War Above draws directly from Albrecht Dürer’s 1511 woodcut St. Michael Fighting the Dragon, and channels the full force of apocalyptic beauty. The scene unfolds across the canvas like scripture in motion: St. Michael rises with wings spread and spear drawn, crashing down upon a many-headed beast as other angelic warriors follow, eyes cold with divine command.

Every panel of the design pulses with sacred momentum—wings slicing sky, dragons writhing in ink-carved torment, halos flaring with righteousness. The composition doesn’t rest. It churns. It storms. And on foot, it marches with the force of prophecy.

The rose-magenta duotone evokes the palette of war-stained parchment and shattered cathedral glass. This is not a peaceful sky—it’s the holy violence that precedes judgment.

Size Guide

Size Guide

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

Seraph’s Strike – The ability to descend at the exact moment when action and judgment must meet.

Warden of the Rift – The strength to hold the line between collapse and creation, fury and grace.

Bloodborne Radiance – A sacred, terrifying beauty that blazes brighter the more the darkness presses in.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

These were once standard issue for Order Scribes stationed along the Riftline—the barrier between this world and whatever the angels couldn’t contain. They were said to help you keep your balance in divine crosswinds. But mostly, they just made you look really ready to smite something.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

  • Dürer’s linework rendered in sharp, high-contrast magenta and bone
  • Toe panel shows St. Michael mid-descent—a literal kick of judgment
  • Every side tells part of the story: angels above, dragons below, fury throughout
  • Mythic density packed into a wearable battlefield
  • Said to hum faintly when worn during lightning storms (unverified)

Adored By (and Designed For)

  • Wearers who long for epic storytelling stitched into every thread
  • Art historians with a soft spot for righteous fury
  • Fans of medieval printmaking and divine iconography
  • Readers who picture angels with six wings and a vengeance quota
  • Those who know the apocalypse isn’t just near—it’s fashionable

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

  • Righteous fury
  • Divine conflict
  • Heroic tragedy
  • Baroque intensity
  • Apocalyptic romance

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

This design channels Renaissance printmaking, religious iconography, and fantasy artwork all in one. There is no visual rest here: every inch of the boot crackles with movement, with agony, with glory. It’s a walking battlefield.

A torrent of motion and moral weight—where the spear falls, silence follows.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) "Knights of Cydonia" – Muse
An explosive, galloping anthem of righteous vengeance and unbreakable will.

(2) "Seven Devils" – Florence + The Machine
Dark, soaring, and wrathful—a perfect hymn for the fall of dragons and the rise of judgment.

(3) "Lux Aeterna" – Clint Mansell
A swelling, operatic pulse of inevitable catastrophe and desperate, beautiful battle.

(4) "The Host of Seraphim" – Dead Can Dance
A sacred dirge rising from ashes and wing-beats—pure, devastating spiritual gravity.

(5) "Take Me to Church" – Hozier
A burning confession of devotion, sacrifice, and holy rage wrapped in melody.

This mix captures sacred wrath, divine tragedy, mythic violence, and the shuddering beauty of battles fought beyond mortal ken.

  • The Tedious but Necessary Bits

    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.
    • Set of 2 custom printed car seat covers
    • Amazing colors and print quality
    • Constructed with high-quality polyester micro-fiber fabric for maximum durability and comfort
    • Add style to your seats while protecting them from spills stains, tearing, fading and more
    • Designed for quick and easy installation on most car and SUV bucket styles seats, no tools required
    • Elastic backing and fastening system ensures a snug and secure universal fit on most standard car and SUV seats
    • Not for use on seats with integrated airbags, seatbelts and or armrests
    • Will not fit on extra large bucket/ truck/ SUV seats
    • Care instructions: Remove the cover from the car seat. Hand-wash using cold water and mild soap. Don't use bleach or washing machine. Lie flat or line to dry. Don't use the dryer or iron the cover.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.