Fear Not a Mis-Fitting Size — The Laments Will Gladly Stitch Another for Free.
  • Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes - Jaded Lament
  • Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes - Jaded Lament
  • Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes - Jaded Lament
  • Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes - Jaded Lament
  • Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes - Jaded Lament
  • Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes - Jaded Lament
  • Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes - Jaded Lament
1 14

Woz Stork And Scarecrow Classic Shoes

Wizard of Oz

$95.00 USD
$99.99 USD $95.00 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Buy 1 Pair Get 1 Free Add 2 Pairs to the cart to apply your automatic discount
Style
Color
Size

Free size replacement!

Free size replacement!

“The stork carried him up into the air.” Not a metaphor. Not a hallucination. Just another day in the beautifully strange geography of Oz—though not the sugarcoated Technicolor one you're used to. This is Oz as it was first drawn: vintage, uncanny, and quietly absurd.

These classic sneakers feature a stark black-and-white scene pulled directly from the original illustrations of L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. The Scarecrow, limbs askew, is being lifted skyward by a determined stork—rescued mid-ruin, mid-narrative, mid-whatever-the-hell-that-chapter-was.

The quote—“The stork carried him up into the air”—arches across the top like a line from a child’s fever dream. The ground below spirals away, reduced to a swirl of unreachable landmarks. Both shoes echo the same moment, as if trapped in a loop of surreal salvation. It’s not triumphant. It’s… suspended.

Wonders Whispered About These Wares

Powers Bestowed Upon the Possessor

• Escape by Absurdity – When things fall apart, you don’t run—you float.
• Unlikely Allies – Call upon strange forces in times of need (storks, scarecrows, probably ghosts).
• Grace in the Ridiculous – Look good while being carried by the plot, literally or otherwise.

Jaded Lament Discovery Note

According to the Lament Archive (Specifically Vault 7C: “Shoes Involving Flight, Failure, or Fowls”), these were once worn by a one-man traveling actor who insisted on playing every character in his rogue Oz adaptation. During one fateful performance of Act IV: The Bird Bit, he leapt for authenticity’s sake and was never seen again. Only the shoes were recovered—dangling from a weathervane above a haunted community center in Topeka.

Why the Laments Loved This Artifact

Because absurdity is sacred. Because the best rescues don’t make sense. Because vintage illustrations of storks performing high-stakes aerial extraction are deeply underappreciated. The Laments loved this design for its eerie stillness—its refusal to clarify whether this moment is hopeful, comical, or tragic. They wore it for the quiet drama of being lifted away before you were quite ready to fall.

Adored By (and Designed For)

• Readers who love vintage children’s books but know better than to trust them
• Oz fans with a preference for the weird pages, not the happy endings
• Lovers of surrealist art, woodcut illustrations, and literary oddities

Atmospheres Clinging to These Relics

• Whimsical unease
• Surreal rescue
• Storybook strangeness
• Ink-born flight
• Sincere absurdity

These Vibes Shall Be the Emanation

Black and white like a faded storybook, the illustration captures the Scarecrow—flailing, weightless, almost serene—as he is carried aloft by a solemn stork. The print is woodcut-sharp, vintage and dreamlike. One gets the sense the air itself might be slightly embarrassed by the arrangement. It’s not triumphant. It’s… suspended. Both panels mirror the same moment, suggesting a loop—the kind that happens in dreams or endless pages, where flight doesn’t end in landing, only in waking up.

Hymns to Strengthen Thy Enchanted Relic

Lend Thine Ear, Fortify Thy Powers. Invoke these chants whilst donning thy wares, that the enchantment might seep deeper into thy bones.

(1) "King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1" – Neutral Milk Hotel
Childlike wonder meets surreal sadness—perfect for scarecrows carried skyward by invisible logic.

(2) "Across the Universe" – Fiona Apple (Beatles Cover)
Dreamlike and untethered, like floating mid-story with no idea where the page ends.

(3) "The Book of Right-On" – Joanna Newsom
Harp-plucked riddles and lyrical oddities—an aural stroll through hand-drawn fantasy fields.

(4) "Space Song" – Beach House
A gentle, shimmering drift into the unknown—melancholy wrapped in ethereal weightlessness.

(5) "Casimir Pulaski Day" – Sufjan Stevens
Delicate, bittersweet storytelling with just enough Midwestern sadness to ground even airborne scarecrows.

This mix captures tender absurdity, literary drift, quiet fantasy, and the strange sadness of being carried away from the plotline you thought you were in.

The Tedious but Necessary Bits

  • Size Sorrows Be Gone

    The Laments Shall Stitch Another Pair If Yours Don’t Fit.

    • Fits true, like fate.
    • Removable insole—should you wish to walk a softer path.
    • Crafted from premium materials, blessed and battle-ready.
    • Canvas kissed by design, grounded by a rubber sole.
    • Colors hold fast like memory—vivid, precise, unforgettable.
    • Made-to-order, conjured just for you—no two pairs walk the same world.

  • Trade Routes, Tides & Transit

    A Note from the Laments Regarding Fulfillment: Each relic is conjured upon request, hand-wrought in our faraway atelier with care befitting the Old Ways. Most emerge within 5–10 days; arrival at your threshold may span 2–3 weeks, depending on tides, tempests, or logistics beyond mortal control.

    Some parcels may arrive separately—such is the nature of enchanted logistics.

    Should you harbor questions, omens, or mere curiosities, the Laments are always listening. Reach out at will.